otis mcfeely
Registered on
Mar-06-2008
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Message #11139 posted by otis mcfeely (Info) March 06, 2008 14:59:57 ET
I have extremely intense reactions to marijuana and this is the first time I’ve ever written down one of my experiences because it is so difficult to express orally what it is like when I get high. This document doesn’t even come close to expressing how intense my real experiences are but it sums it up a lot better than me just trying to tell people how it is.
I was hanging out with my girlfriend for my 17th birthday and we went to her friend’s house after hanging out for a while to see what she was doing. We all decided to go to a cemetery down the street and smoke weed with her friend’s older sister. I told my girlfriend and her friend before that I have an extraordinarily low tolerance to weed and they wanted to see this first hand. We went to the cemetery and went to an open field just past the graves but still inside the walls of the huge cemetery and sat down underneath a tree. Her friend’s older sister packed her bowl and one by one we all took a hit. I took only one hit because I have such a low tolerance. After we all smoked I could feel the the high slowly set in. It was seemingly pleasant for a few moments and I could tell I was really blazed but before I knew it I was in a completely catatonic state. It was like reality just froze before me and I lost all sense of being. Past, present, and future seemed to slip away from my mind I had no idea who I was or where I was. Every thing around me seemed so unreal; I had no idea how I got there or why I was there. My friends sat in front of me and kind of poked and prodded at me while I was completely unresponsive. I remember them poking at me and calling my name, asking me if I was alright and apparently I muttered I’m dying to them(I don’t remember this). It felt like I was in a movie that was completely eternal and I was trying to say this to them but couldn’t. They asked me if I was dying and they tried to tell me I wasn’t dying but I wasn’t responsive( I think that’s what they said to me). Every time they uttered a word thoughts shot back into my mind slowly yet quickly deciphering the spoken messages and placing meaning and emotion behind each word especially “Dying”. I was questioning the meaning of this word in my mind over and over again and analyzing what it truly meant to be dead. I could supposedly feel thoughts being generated as they came from my subconscious mind to my conscious mind. I don’t know if this was a hallucination or what but it was intense. I looked at the trees in the background; they looked so menacing and strange with no leaves. The way they grew out of the ground towards the sky seemed completely alien to me. Every notion of reality was gone to me I had no idea who these beings in front of me were (my girlfriend, her friend and her friend’s older sister). Then in an instance every thing in my site froze and became distorted and phased out. At this point I had no connection with my physical body. My friends say I just stared into the distance at this time. I was in what was like a kaleidoscope of infinite depth and proportion. During this time I came to the conclusion that I was dead and this is what I am going to see for all eternity. I had no recollection of memory at all, I didn’t even know I had just smoked weed. I knew I just was and always will be in this state of limbo. Then I felt thoughts again, slowly they came back to me like repetitive psychedelic reverse ripples in a pond going into a center point. Each ripple was a thought idea or memory I once had but they seemed completely alien to me. I didn’t know where they were from or if they really had happened once upon a time. As they grew stronger I could see people in the memories, Friends and family that I had never known yet they seemed so familiar. The people in these memories were very cartoon like with small ratfink bodies and huge ratfink heads. I seemed to see my entire life flash before my eyes and I had my moment of eternity here… My eternal moment of reflection was abruptly stopped when I woke up to them carrying me out from under the tree and laying me in the sun. Apparently I lost all the color in my face and they thought putting me in the sun would make me better (I freaked them out pretty bad). I regained most of my mind but I was still in an extremely distorted state of mind. As I looked at my friends while on the ground I saw there skeletons flash like in old cartoons when a character gets electrocuted but I could also see the bones in my own face as this happened. Everything felt so intense and the trees still looked fucking weird! When I stood up I was having extremely deep thoughts rush into my mind and leave as quickly as they came over and over again. I looked at the people around me and thought to my self about how humans are animals too... Weird animals with no natural defenses of any kind, nails, fangs, strength, etc… We are extremely disproportionate with frail bodies walking on 2 skinny legs with a large head and no sort of fur other than hair on our heads and pubes. Yet we control our entire environment, raping and destroying every thing with our wants coming first first. I came to the conclusion that we are filthy creatures that need to be exterminated… This idea came and went in about 2 seconds and others followed most of which I don’t remember and the ones I do remember are too absurd and paranoid for me to share. I also came to the conclusion that if I were to ever try shrooms my mind would snap. I passed out for the rest of the day on my girlfriends couch because I was to mentally exhausted to do anything else. I still had racing thoughts for the rest of the day and a headache for the next 2 days (I took it like a bitch). The weed we smoked hardly affected them but it hit me like a fuckin shovel in the back of the head. I would like to find out why I have such over the top experiences from such small amounts of THC. It sounds like I took shrooms when I tell people what its like. Still to this day I can’t look at trees the same way they just weird me the fuck out.
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