bum
Premier Member
Registered on
Mar-04-2001
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Message #43768 posted by bum (Info) December 23, 2007 21:03:58 ET
thought ya'll might get a kick out of this (you too sanclem)... a while ago i
started compiling your insightful, hilarious, and clever ideas and words of
advice into a text file... i never finished and i probably never well, but here it
is anyway:
Sanclem's Words of Wisdom
Worthless as tits on a bull:
175 watt metal halides
If some of the jokes go over your head stand up.
Most of pot smokers have a ear problem. The distance between there ears.
Growing pot is so simple go to any board read faq and your done. Over many
years I have only seen a few new things. 1 do not boil your roots., 2 use a 2x4
in you mouth when you want to talk about your system to others, 3 a gas
bottle went up in some ones car, 4 wireing lights with the wrong wire, 5
stealing light, 6 bong water to kill your plants , 6 and the latest one grinding
up pot seeds for fertilizer.
I Bid you all Piece for if every one got layed often there would be less wars.
What do you call less the 3 feet of scars? Small dings. Thanks to a fucking
drunk. If you drive under the influance you should be shot and get free amo
and cleaning supplys for you gun. Hunting ducks and deer is so lame, Drunks
have steel cars around them and makes shooting more of a game. Once you
catch and shoot them you should be able to ground them up for fertilizer it
would help the enviorment. Pot plants realy like bone meal and blood meal.
When I have left over junk, I make brownies. I call them lost tokers. The
average moron take a whole one "yea I know what I'm doing" He took it home
2 hrs later I get a call "I'm lost" He went to the store 3 blocks from his house.
A friend went to pick him up.
Pot growing is like hidding a cow.
To hide a elephent paint the everyting gray.
A penis is the lightest human part it will rise on just a thought.
Totaly amazing Mushrooms are like some humans. They are feed shit and
kept in the dark.
I know a girl that so smart she has her automatic dialer call her every 15
seconds. She keeps her phone on vibrate and in her panties.
On football:
Why watch a bunch of colored's run back and forth with a dead pig skin. UPS
will deliver the ball to the end for only a few bucks. U.S.P will deliver it for
$3.20. John Force can get it there under 2 seconds. Most slow fueler can do it
under 4 seconds. Hell Shirley Mulduney can do it under 3 seconds. Lets face it
guys cleavage catches all the crumbs and nothing more fun then lickin
crumbs off cleavage
The sixties:
A mustand Boss 350 was 3700+ 1 studio apt 130, gas 40 cents, 12 oz Coke
10 cents, 1.40 hr mim wage. and you smoked 2 joints to get a buz. Now its 3
tokes to brain dead. +8 bucks a gram. Its Ca. Gold The boss 350 is 80K the
studio is 600 gas is 1.85 min wag 6.25? Your age is showing and your hair is
gray. But tie dye is back the acid burn outs still walk the streets. Lava lamps
are still the same price. The surf is still free. The bay bridge still has fog on its
bottom. Life is great Peace sc
How to commit suicide:
Many a person has died from trying to steal to much logging chain and died.
Eat 3 sleeping pills , 3 beers and put a plastic sack over your head.
Drop hand granades every 20 feet and keep running, sooner or later you will
pass out.
Water sking in Okchgee swamps for 2 hrs. Gator food
Sky diving with a parashoot made of DD bra's
Have a DD girl press the twins in you face for 10 minutes.
Have fat gail put you in a head lock with her legs.
Let you co2 levels go over 7000 ppm and have no one to pull you out.
Jump out of a jet at 60,000 feet with a auto shute set for 5k feet.
Take 20 mg of morfine and 1 beer and a brandy chaser.
By pass the safety lock on a Micro wave , with you head in side.
Cut off the exust of a car and weld it to the inside of the car.
Swim in a tricoethleen tank , with out a safety man.
Do the back stroke in quick sand.
Take 9 girls that are willing and 2 benny tabs and have sex with them all, You
will pass out , with your smile stuck to your ears.
Thats the one I like best , but 4 woman was all I could take, hope you can do
more.
Differnt question of the week.
next week , Why is pussyfore so expensive.
Advice to a 14 year old asking how to get high:
I would guess you will have your own shopping cart when you reach 19 if
your lucky.
It time to take the school system for all its worth and learn all you can ITS
FREE.
successfull is how you look at it:
Success is by a pot smoker
successful if your shopping cart has a cover for the night.
successful if your house has more then 5 bed rooms
successful if your 8th house has a 150 ft pool
successful does you mistress has a new BMW
successful you do not see your company on 20/20
successful If your car is not over 2 years old
successful If your job includes a trip to space.
successful If your maid has a tight ass.
successful If your buttler only washes your car every day
successful If your apartment houses are paid for.
successful If you order in French in a Mexican restaurant.
successful If your children and healthy and have a gpa 4.5
successful If you have no credit cards, and can buy anything
successful If you lawer is on retainer and does not ask for a raise.
successful If you never wear plastic sport shoes
successful If you have so much time on your hands to read book on how to
grow pot.
successful you friends know the difference between pussy and pussywillows
and pussyfor.
May you buds be tight.
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